When PineappleClock first joined the Clock Crew, he seemed to be just an ordinary clock. He could laugh, and smile, and sing, and dance, but he could not do sums, or polynomials, or trigonometry, or three-variable integral calculations. For most clocks, this would not be a problem (most clocks cannot do sums, or polynomials, or trigonometry, or three-variable integral calculations), but for Pineapple, who was put in charge of the "Make Awesome Things" department by StrawberryClock, this was quite a problem indeed.
     
     One day, StrawberryClock came to CC HQ with lots of ideas for awesome things that needed to be made. He went straight to PineappleClock's department, and told him, "I need you to make me some awesome things."
     
     PineappleClock said, "What awesome things do you need me to make, my king?"
     
     StrawberryClock said, "I need you to make us a website so that everyone can know how awesome we are."
     
     PineappleClock said, "I wish I could, but I am not smart, and do not know how to do that."
     
     Strawberry sighed, and said, "Fine, then I want you to make an overly complicated contraption that will flip pancakes, break boards in half, fire cannonballs at paper airplanes, play the theme songs to old 80's sitcoms, and do magic tricks for Tom Fulp."
     
     Pineapple said, "I wish I could, but I am not smart, and do not know how to do that."
     
     Strawberry sighed once more, and said, "Fine, then I want you to make me a throne with an heated cushion, a drink holder, and a direct telephone link to Newgrounds, so I can call Tom Fulp the instant we make new Flash movies so he can tell his website to force everyone to fiven it and put it on the frontpage for three years."
     
     Pineapple said, "I wish I could, but-"
     
     "You are useless!" yelled Strawberry. "I want you out of Clocktopia! And don't come back until you can do these things!"
     
     So PineappleClock left Clocktopia, and he hiked through briar patches, and swamps, and deserts, and potato factories until he got to Locktopia, which at the time consisted of a couple of discarded Masterlocks from kids' and gym enthusiasts' lockers.
     
     "Oh locks," he said. "The clocks have abandoned me, and I want to serve you! What must I do to prove my worth?"
     
     The Masterlocks thought this over for a minute, and then said, "Could you figure out how to get lots of locks to join us and find us a great leader and make flashes that come close to the clocks' greatness, only to have us break down into petty bickering and have everyone leave us in disgust and have us retreat into the shadows again?"
     
     Pineapple said, "I wish I could, but I am not smart, and do not know how to do that."
     
     The Masterlocks sighed, and said "Very well. Could you make us some Macaroni salad?"
     
     Pineapple said, "I wish I could, but-"
     
     "You are useless!" yelled the Masterlocks. "Leave us, and never return! We were told our savior is shaped like a yellow fruit, anyway!"
     
     So PineappleClock left the locks, and he hiked through thunderstorms, and icestorms, and hailstorms, and frogstorms, until he got to Newgrounds, which at the time consisted of a few cool dudes who liked StrawberryClock (including Tom Fulp) and a bunch of idiots.
     
     "Oh Newgrounders," he said. "The clocks and the locks have abandoned me, and I want to serve you! What must I do to prove my worth?"
     
     The Newgrounders thought this over for a minute, and then said, "Could you figure out how to get us to stop being so obsessed with untalented and lazy animators, poor storytellers, terrible music, senseless violence, and tasteless fart jokes?"
     
     Pineapple said, "I wish I could, but I am not smart, and do not know how to do that."
     
     The Newgrounders sighed, and said "Very well. Could you at least teach us not to be elitist pricks?"
     
     Pineapple said, "I wish I could, but-"
     
     "You are useless!" yelled the Newgrounders. "Leave us, and never return! We were told our savior is a small furry squirrel that talks really quickly and complains about everything, anyway!"
     
     At this point, Pineapple was very distressed, as he had gone to every place he knew, and no one would accept him. But even stupid clocks can happen upon a good idea by chance, and into Pineapple's mechanical brain popped the idea that he should visit the source, the origin of all theings, the B upon the peak of Mount Beta. And so he hiked past mosquitos, and scorpions, and snakes, and platypi to the top of this mountain, and saw the giant B towering above him.
     
     "Oh B," he said. "The clocks and the locks and the people of Newgrounds have abandoned me, because I am not smart and do not know how to make websites, or sums, or contraptions, or thrones, or have great ideas. The only way I can survive in this world is if I am smart. Please, please, can you help me?"
     
     B stood there for several moments, completely motionless, silent, serene, foreboding. Finally, at last, it said, in a deep, booming voice, "That's because you're set to the wrong time. Each minute of each day gives each clock different personalities, skills, and moods. Normal clocks let their clock hands cycle through every minute of every day, and thus throughout the day, they cycle through all the different skills and moods, and is why they are so talented at all things. Some clocks are stuck on a certain time, though, which gives them a set personality, and you are currently stuck on 8:15am, the helpless noob time. You came to the right place, because times can only be changed by the force of B. I can unstick that clock for you, and make it cycle through all the different times in the day again."
     
     "NO!" said PineappleClock. "I can't just be smart for one minute out of the day! Everyone wants me to be smart all the time, so I can do things for them that they can't do themselves! I want you to set my time on the smart time, for good!"
     
     "Are you sure?" said B. "If you are the only smart one, then it will be a great responsibility, as everyone will rely on you at all times, and you will constantly be busy and won't be able to enjoy the gift of life."
     
     "I'm sure," said PineappleClock. "I'd rather everyone relied on me than no one, and somebody has to be the smart one in the group. I am willing to make that sacrifice."
     
     "Very well," said B. And B started glowing, and PineappleClock felt a force surround him, saw himself start to glow, and he began to rise into the air. A sudden flash of light shot from B to Pineapple, and then PineappleClock fell to the ground. He felt all sorts of information surge into his head, and suddenly he knew how to make websites, and do sums, and create contraptions, and thrones, and he had tons and tons of great ideas for everyone.
     
     "You are now set to 5:02am, the time when everyone is in bed and the house is quiet and you have lots of caffeine in you to keep your mind sharp and you can get lots of work done. You will forever be at 5:02am. Now go back to the clocks, and be happy."
     
     "Thank you very much, B!" said PineappleClock. And he went back to StrawberryClock, and he made him the website, and the overly complicated contraption that could flip pancakes, break boards in half, fire cannonballs at paper airplanes, play the theme songs to old 80's sitcoms, and do magic tricks for Tom Fulp, and the throne with the heated cushion, the drink holder, and the direct telephone link to Newgrounds, and many, many more wonderful and brilliant things, and the StrawberryClock welcomed him back with open arms. And the rest of the world needed his amazing intelligence also, so he was always kept very busy, and could never get any time to rest.
     
     It is said that if PineappleClock ever got a break, he could go back to Newgrounds and tell them how they could stop being so obsessed with terrible flash movies, but to this day he never has had time off, and Newgrounds still remains unsaved.